For the Sake of Others, Guide 2: Confession
Take Communion (2 minutes)
Leader Note: Begin your gathering by taking communion together, whether as a full meal or some version of the bread and the cup before or after your meal. If you don’t already have a Communion liturgy, have someone read through John 15v8-14,17 as written below, then take a brief moment to pray aloud and thank Jesus for being our savior, laying down his life for us, his friends.
“This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command…This is my command: Love each other.”
Leader Note: Before diving into the rest of this Guide, close this time in prayer, asking Jesus to now be your teacher as you seek to become more like him and do what he did.
Review The Last Practice (10 minutes)
Let’s take some time to reflect on how the last Practice went for everyone. Remember, last time we all agreed to practice active listening and being a compassionate Community by intentionally connecting with someone from our Community to hear more about what’s going on in their life, checking in on something they shared last time, or following up about something you’ve been praying for them:
How did it feel to connect with someone in the Community, outside of our normal night? (i.e. natural, challenging, grounding, new, etc.)
How did it impact you to have someone check in with you, or to know someone was praying for you?
If practicing Compassion in this way is something we want our Community to be marked by, what would it look like for us to make this common practice in our group?
Read This Overview Aloud (3 minutes)
We live in a culture that deeply values what it calls “authenticity,” in which we are taught that anything that comes from within us is good and worthy of celebration—that we should say, think, and do anything that comes naturally without fear, reservation, or shame. From what seems like every direction,we often hear messages like “be yourself,” to “live your truth,” or to “follow your heart.”
On one hand, this is not all bad. Human beings are created in the image of God and, therefore, much of what is beautiful in our world flows out of what’s inside us: art, generosity, music, love, and more that is deeply human and deeply good. But, what if that is only half the story?
Life in apprenticeship to Jesus involves an internal tug-of-war, a tension between our good desires and our broken desires and the actions that flow from them. Beneath the veneer of being “perfect just the way I am,” we each carry moments we are not proud of. There are thoughts, feelings, and actions that we know aren’t worthy of celebration: that fight we picked with our spouse, the words of anger in the car, the extra glance at the gym, the gossip shared at work, and on the list goes. To follow Jesus is to resist our disordered desires and to live into the new, redeemed desires of the Spirit.
But if we’re going to grow in becoming more like Jesus, we’ll need to be honest with ourselves, God, and one another about the reality of sin in our lives. There is no healing in hiding. For thousands of years, followers of Jesus have resisted their disordered desires not by hiding them, but by confessing them. It is the truth that sets us free.
Leader note: The next section will include quiet reflection, so before you begin, be sure to transition into a quiet room and find ways to best support the kids to ensure the whole Community can engage the Practice.
Do This Practice Tonight (20 minutes)
Tonight, we are going to step into the practice of Community through the ancient rhythms of the Examen and confession. As we engage the Examen and reflect on the day we’ve had, we willingly invite God into our ordinary life moments to see where he’s been at work, expecting that he will continue that work in the days ahead. When we practice honesty with God first, it can give us courage to step vulnerably into confession. These are foundational rhythms to our Practice of Community.
Let’s begin by getting into a comfortable position and taking a few deep breaths. I will open us up in prayer by inviting the Holy Spirit to come draw near.
Open in Prayer
The Examen
Step One: Review your week with God.
I’m going to set a timer for 3 minutes, where we will sit in silence and spend time quietly reflecting on two things. First, review your week – where did you feel close or distant from God? Thank him for the moments that bring gratitude. Secondly, ask the Holy Spirit this question: “When did I fail to love you or love someone else this week?” Then, confess moments of sin or regret where you overlooked an opportunity to be with God or others.
Leader note: After the 3 minute timer ends, break the silence by saying, “Thank you Lord for your forgiveness and loving presence with us tonight.”
Step Two: Share with another person.
Let’s split into groups of two to share the moments that came to mind during the Examen. If multiple moments come to mind, share the one that feels most significant or that you feel comfortable sharing. And if you don’t feel comfortable sharing what you reflected on, you’re welcome to share about what that time was like for you.
For the sharer: this could sound like, “I realized that this week I failed to love God by _________" or “I failed to love (this person) by ________".
For the listener: this looks like quietly listening without judgment. Once the person has finished sharing, thank them for sharing and share your moment in return.
I’m going to set a 5 minute timer, during which time the sharer will speak and the listener will reflect back what they’ve heard. After those 5 minutes are up, we’ll switch roles and I’ll start another timer.
Leader note: Set a 5 minute timer for each person. Once it goes off, have them switch sharers and set it again. Afterwards, gather everyone back to discuss the practice for the week ahead.
Read The Practice for the Week Ahead (3 minutes)
The Practice for the week ahead is two fold: 1) continue engaging the Examen on your own – whether using the structure above or by utilizing the Lectio365 app’s Night Prayer option – and 2) identify someone that you can practice confession with.
Follow the prompts we did together as you practice the Examen, and end by asking the Holy Spirit that same question: “When did I fail to love God or love someone else today?” The person you practice confession with could be another member of your Community, a good friend or family member, a pastor, or a mentor. When you meet, you can use the prompt: “This week I failed to love God by _____” or “I failed to love (this person) by ______.”
In order to create spaces of safety while confessing, be slow to speak and quick to listen. Do not offer advice, feedback, or judgment. Instead, quietly listen until they have said all that they wanted to say. When finished, close in prayer thanking God for his forgiveness and his unconditional love for you both.
End in Prayer (5 minutes)
Leader note: Close your time together in prayer, asking God to continue growing your Community into the first fruits of renewal through the Practice of Community.