For the Sake of Others, Guide 1: Compassion
Take Communion (2 minutes)
Leader Note: Begin your gathering by taking communion together, whether as a full meal or some version of the bread and the cup before or after your meal. If you don’t already have a Communion liturgy, have someone read through John 15v8-14,17 as written below, then take a brief moment to pray aloud and thank Jesus for being our savior, laying down his life for us, his friends.
“This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command…This is my command: Love each other.”
Leader Note: Before diving into the rest of this Guide, consider closing this time in prayer, asking Jesus to now be your teacher as you seek to become more like him and do what he did.
Read This Overview Aloud (12 minutes)
One of the most common pictures used throughout Scripture to define the people of God is that of a family. The word “family” is a pretty loaded term in today’s world and means different things to different people. Whether we like it or not, and whether we acknowledge it or not, we all have a particular family background that shapes who we are and how we operate today. The norms that exist within our family of origin often filter the way we relate to others, but most specifically those closest to us. It’s important that we take time to both honor and evaluate the family patterns that have shaped us.
Let’s take the next few minutes to work through some questions together. We’ll read them one at a time, take a moment of silence to reflect on our family experience, and then have a few of us share what comes to mind.
What three words would you use to describe your family of origin?
How did your family talk about—or not talk about—difficult events, conflicts, or feelings?
If your family had a mission statement, what might it have been?
The family of God throughout Scripture is depicted as a highly committed, multi-ethnic community of self-giving and sacrificial love (see Acts 2v42-47 as an example). But, as we just talked about, our experience of what it means to be a family often doesn’t line up with that—and this includes our experience of church community. But this is what it means to be first-fruits: We are a group of imperfect individuals being continually formed into the likeness of Jesus, so there will be tastes of the perfect to come and of the perfect that is not yet here.
And this is why it’s so important to practice Community. We cannot become fully formed followers of Jesus alone; we need other people. Jesus valued Community enough to build his life around it, so we do the same—knowing that we are formed as we offer love to one another and allow ourselves to be loved by our brothers and sisters.
Now, while we gather to practice Community each time we meet, throughout this series we will be zeroing in on what exactly that means. More than a weekly dinner party or Bible study, this is the family of God coming together with the distinct purpose of practicing the way of Jesus. The clarity that we established during our conversation around Community Commitments in the last Guide will serve as the foundation for our Community practice. And one pillar that is crucial to the health of our Community is the practice of Compassion. Compassion was a defining mark of Jesus’ earliest followers, as it should be for our Community.
Do This Practice Tonight (15 minutes)
If we’re going to practice Compassion and learn to love God and others, we have to fight against 3 distinct tendencies: to read minds, to make assumptions, and to have unreasonable expectations. For this week’s practice, we will explore practical ways to stop mind reading, clarify expectations, and listen well, so that we are better equipped to love people in our lives and Community. Followers of Jesus are to be “quick to listen” and “slow to speak,” so let’s do an exercise in listening well!
We’ll begin by splitting into groups of two and taking turns asking one another the following question: What is one thing that has been impacting you lately?
Before we get started, though, here are a few guidelines to follow:
As the sharer
Be as open and honest as you feel comfortable.
Do not feel like you need to over-explain or qualify what is affecting you right now.
Try to keep your statements brief enough to give the listener time to paraphrase.
Practice using emotion words in your sharing. (e.g. happy, disappointed, frustrated, distant, excited, resentful, defeated, honored, etc.)
As the listener
Give the sharer your full attention and listen without interrupting.
Avoid judging or interrupting, and do not offer advice.
When they finish, thank them for sharing and then practice active listening by attempting to paraphrase what they’ve said. You can start this by saying, “What I hear you saying is…” (Remember to speak with empathy and respect.) And once you finish paraphrasing, ask the person, “Is that correct?” and let them respond.
I will set a 5 minute timer, during which time the sharer will speak and the listener will reflect back what they’ve heard. And after those 5 minutes are up, we’ll switch roles and I’ll start another 5 minute timer.
Leader Note: Set a 5 minute timer for each person. Once it goes off, have them switch sharers and set it again. Afterwards, gather everyone back in to discuss the practice for the week ahead.
Read The Practice for the Week Ahead (2 minutes)
In the week ahead, let’s continue our practice of Compassion within our Community by committing to one of these three actions:
Reach out to or get together with a friend from the Community to catch up and learn more about what’s going on in their life.
Follow up on what you heard someone share during the practice tonight.
Actively pray for a specific request that was shared and follow up to check in about it.
End in Prayer (10 minutes)
Leader note: Close your time together in prayer, asking God to continue growing your Community into the first fruits of renewal through the Practice of Community.