Family Guide: Solitude
At Bridgetown, our goal is that every person – adult and child – would be with Jesus, become like Jesus, and do what Jesus did. But these things don’t just happen overnight; they take time, intention, and repetition. So, with this in mind, we will be releasing a Family Guide during each teaching series to help you engage a particular Practice from the life and teaching of Jesus together. Since these Guides are aimed at kids of multiple ages, please skip or adapt anything that does not feel age appropriate. These Guides are written conversationally, so feel free to read through them. Italicized words are notes to parents and bolded words are questions to take some time with.
Take a moment to imagine the loudest place you’ve ever been. Maybe a concert or a Portland Trail Blazers game, or a big city like New York, London, or Seattle. Perhaps you’ve heard an airplane take off or a loud car drove by when you weren’t expecting it. What are some of the LOUDEST places you’ve ever been?
The world around us is often very loud and busy. We can feel overwhelmed by all the things going on around us. Sometimes, it feels loud and busy inside of us too. When we’re anxious, our thoughts might feel like a race car zooming around in our heads. When we’re excited, we might feel like there’s ping pong balls bouncing around in our bodies. Have you ever experienced these feelings before? What was it like?
Parents: Pause here for each person to share their answers.
Jesus shows us that there are good habits we can have to help give us a break from this type of noise and hustle-and-bustle. One of these good habits is called Solitude. Have you ever heard the word “solitude” before?
Parents: Pause here for your child(ren) to share their answers.
The word “solitude” is kind of like the word “solo,” which we use when someone does something by themselves like singing a song or playing an instrument or doing a dance. “Solitude” is kind of similar and is used to describe when we spend quiet time by ourselves. It’s like pressing pause on the world around us in order to calm our bodies and minds. When we take this type of quiet time, we might feel stillness or freedom or peace.
The Bible describes many times where Jesus had some quiet time by himself. But during these times of solitude, Jesus wasn’t actually alone. The Bible tells us that Jesus was spending this quiet time with his Father, God. He stepped away from all the noise and activity so that he could be with God. During this time he prayed - he listened to God, talked to God, or even just sat in silence in God’s presence. Just like us, Jesus needed time away from noisy busy spaces to be able to hear what God his Father was saying to him. Have you ever had quiet time with God? What was it like?
Parents: Pause here for each person to share their answers.
Let’s read through a Bible story about a time someone practiced Solitude. Elijah was a prophet who loved and served God even when the people around him didn’t. There was a bad king who wanted to kill Elijah—he didn’t like that Elijah encouraged people to worship God. Elijah was afraid and ran away to escape this bad king, hiding in a cave. He didn’t know what to do. Now, let’s read what happens next.
Parents: Pull out a Bible and read 1 Kings 19v9–13.
The story continues on with Elijah telling God everything that was going on and how it made him feel. In response, God spoke to Elijah and told him what he needed to do next.
Parents: Work through these questions together:
How did Elijah feel at the beginning of the story? (Afraid and not sure what to do next)
What happened when Elijah was alone? (God spoke to him)
God’s presence came near to Elijah when he passed by the cave Elijah was in. Was God’s presence in the wind, earthquake, fire, or whisper? (The whisper!)
How do you think Elijah felt after talking with God? How would you have felt?
In order to hear someone whisper, things have to be pretty quiet, right? You wouldn’t be able to hear a whisper while standing by a train! God had something he wanted to say to Elijah. To be able to hear it, Elijah needed a quiet alone space, and he also needed a "quiet mind." When Elijah was alone in the silence, God spoke to him and helped him. God’s presence was in the whisper. And just like Elijah, when we’re overwhelmed, we need to take some quiet space to hear the whisper of God’s voice—not just in a place that isn’t noisy, but also in a place where our bodies and minds can calm down a little. We can spend quiet time with God before we start our days or before bedtime. Even right in the middle of a busy day, we can step away to take some deep breaths and ask God to help us.
For some of us, it can be hard to sit still or be quiet for very long. Do you find it hard to sit still and be quiet sometimes?
Parents: Pause here for each person to share answers.
It’s okay if Solitude or spending quiet time with God sounds a little new or scary. It’s also okay if you don’t enjoy sitting still. There are lots of ways we can engage our bodies and minds during solitude to make it a little easier. Practicing Solitude is like practicing dribbling a soccer ball or riding a skateboard or playing the violin—we learn best when we are patient and keep trying.
As followers of Jesus, we want to follow his example and learn to spend time in Solitude with God everyday. Here’s two specific ideas that might make learning easier. Let’s discuss each and pick one to try this week– I wonder what God wants to say to us when we do!
Idea #1: Make settling jars. Settling jars are a great tool to help us calm our minds and bodies as we listen for God’s voice. Settling jars are like a visual timer. We can shake them and watch the glittery, sparkly swirls while we sit quietly or pray. Once we’ve made our jars, we can either have quiet time together around the table or spread out on our own. We’ll begin by shaking our jars gently so the sparkles twirl around in the water. As we do, we can invite God to meet us with a simple prayer like “Come Holy Spirit” or “God, help us to hear your voice”. Then, we’ll sit quietly watching the colorful swirls until they all settle on the bottom of the jar. We can keep our hearts and minds open to God and listen for the whisper of the Holy Spirit while we wait.
Parents: There are a few ways to make settling jars, which are also called “calm down jars”. We recommend water and mica powder in a small mason jar. But you can also use clear craft glue and glitter. Do some quick research to decide what supplies will work best for your family.
Idea #2: Use a finger maze. Another idea to help us practice Solitude is by using a tool called a finger maze. Kind of like the settling jar, a finger maze helps us calm our minds and bodies as we wait to hear God’s voice. We can print out a finger maze and sit somewhere quiet. As we slowly trace our finger through the maze, working our way towards the heart in the center, we can talk to God and share anything we might be feeling or needing. Once we get to the middle, we can pause, take a deep breath, and invite God to meet us with a simple prayer like “Come Holy Spirit” or “God, help us to hear your voice”. Then, we’ll trace our way back through the maze to where we started, and as we do, we can listen for the whisper of the Holy Spirit.
Parents: You can print out the Finger Maze sheet below.
Which of these two do we want to commit to? Let’s plan a few days and times this week to practice Solitude using the idea we’ve chosen.
Parents: Write down the idea your family chooses and any specifics you decide on and put it up where the whole family can see it!
Whether on a car ride from church or at dinner later this month or some other time, let’s decide when we want to talk about Solitude again. And, finally, let’s end by praying together that God would help us to create space in our busy and noisy world to hear his voice and be in his presence.