The Beatitudes, Guide 3: Forgiveness
Take Communion (2 minutes)
Leader Note: Begin this time by taking communion together, whether as a full meal or some version of the bread and the cup before or after your meal. If you don’t already have a Communion liturgy, have someone read through Matthew 5v3–12 as written below, then take a brief moment to pray aloud and thank Jesus for the promise of his kingdom.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
Leader Note: Before diving into the rest of this Guide, close this time in prayer, asking Jesus to now be your teacher as you seek to become more like him and do what he did.
Review The Last Practice (8 minutes)
Let’s take some time to reflect on how the last Practice went for everyone. As a reminder, last week we agreed to meditate on Jesus’ model of Submission which can be summarized in his prayer in the garden, “Not my will, but yours be done.” The Practice of Submission is characterized by honesty in prayer, surrender to life’s circumstances, and obedience to God’s will.
How did this model of Submission impact the way you approach God in prayer?
How did it influence your posture toward the limitations and circumstances you face daily?
Read This Overview Aloud (3 minutes)
Jesus’ famous sermon on the mount begins with a shocking announcement that we commonly refer to as “the Beatitudes.” This introduction describes the world, not as we know it, but as it is when Jesus reigns as King. Two of those shocking depictions are captured back-to-back in the lines, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matt 5v6-7). The word translated in verse 6 as righteousness describes those who desire for all humanity to be in right relationship with one another. The word translated in verse 7 as mercy describes those who go above and beyond fairness by showing loving kindness to others. If we were to combine these two descriptions, we would arrive at a solid summary of Jesus’ teachings on the topic of Forgiveness: to pursue right relationships by rejecting our version of ‘fairness’ and moving toward one another in loving kindness. This will also serve as a short summary of our Practice for tonight.
Before we dive in, it’s important to remember that Forgiveness is more often a process of cultivating mercy than a one-time fix. In fact, when rushed, Forgiveness can be personally destructive rather than relationally constructive, cheapening mercy instead of expressing it. Forgiveness is an ongoing, active process that we hope to simply begin tonight.
Do This Practice Tonight (30 minutes)
Tonight’s Practice of Forgiveness will consist of three major movements. Each movement will include a time of guided reflection and prayer. Again, working through these three movements does not “complete the process,” but it does provide us a framework. As we go along, if at any point you need to sit in one specific movement longer, feel free to do so without feeling pressure to move on with us. Before we begin, though, let’s take the next few minutes to discuss these prompts, one at a time: (Leader Note: This discussion should be kept to 15 minutes)
Describe a time you remember being forgiven by a close friend or family member.
Describe a time you personally remember experiencing God’s forgiveness.
Describe a time you chose to forgive someone close to you.
Now, let’s consider where God might be inviting us to Practice Forgiveness in our lives today. Take a second to settle in. If you like to write things down, grab a pen & paper or put your phone on Do Not Disturb and open the Notes app. Close your eyes and breathe slowly.
[Pause for just a moment]
Remember the Pain: The first step in pursuing right relationships and moving toward one another in loving kindness is recognizing rupture that needs repair. So take a moment to ask Jesus to help you recall an everyday, minor situation in which someone caused you pain. As you do, picture the event in your mind’s eye and begin to make observations: Where were you? Who was involved? What was said or done? How did that make you feel?
Try to be as precise as possible with regards to how this situation made you feel. There will likely be pain in this, so keep in mind that the process is designed to move you beyond the pain and into a space of freedom. Sitting with and naming the pain is a necessary step.
[Pause for at least a minute]
Reject the Lie: Oftentimes, some of the pain someone has caused us is actually rooted in shame we experienced as a result of a person’s words or actions. Take a moment to consider what false story their offense tempted you to believe about yourself.
[Pause for at least a minute]
Take a moment now to open your hands and release to Jesus the false story you are tempted to believe about yourself.
[Pause for at least a minute]
Now consider what story the offense caused you to believe about the other person.
[Pause for at least a minute]
Forgiveness is letting go of your right to seek fairness and refusing to define someone by your worst experience of them. With your hands still open in front of you, release to Jesus the story you are tempted to define the other person by.
[Pause for at least a minute]
Receive the Truer Story: While you can’t change the hurtful memory, you can change how you think and feel when that memory comes to mind. It’s important that you take hold of a truer story, or version of that event, one that acknowledges the offense but sees the other person through the lens of renewal.
Ask Jesus now to give you an image of life in his kingdom, where that relationship is made right, and you continually move toward one another in loving kindness. With your hands still open in front of you, receive that truer story.
[Pause for at least a minute]
Leader note: Before you move on to the Practice for the Week Ahead, close out this time in prayer. Thank Jesus for his kindness in this time and for the forgiveness he offers us. Ask him to help us as we show to others the same mercy he has shown to us.
Read The Practice for the Week Ahead (2 minutes)
As we said before, Forgiveness is a process that is sustained by mercy. Mercy often begins with hope - a conscious choice to not give up on someone. From there, mercy grows as we bear with one another, allowing someone to be where they are and not where we want them to be. Mercy is then sustained by the practice of confession, in which we acknowledge our own need for that same mercy. As we continually cultivate mercy in our own lives, we will eventually bear the fruit of forgiveness.
That is why our Practice for the week ahead is to cultivate mercy by praying for those who have hurt us. We’ll do this by sitting before God, asking him how he sees the person we are struggling to forgive, and how he is asking us to extend mercy towards that person. As with the Practice tonight, it might be helpful to start with a less ultimate, more everyday offense. Practicing mercy in small ways helps us know how to extend mercy for greater offenses.
If during this process you find yourself getting stuck or that you’re not able to stop unwanted thoughts, consider inviting someone you trust into your journey, such as a Community Leader, a pastor, or even a counselor (see Bridgetown’s list of recommendations). Surrounding yourself with trusted voices is key to exercising discernment and experiencing true restoration.
End in Prayer (5 minutes)
Leader note: Close your time together in prayer, asking God to continue growing your Community through the Practice of Forgiveness.